Death changes one’s perspective.

…And so begins the change.

Loss of any kind is a game changer, changing outcome, expectation and results.  Loss is an individual experience that cannot be measured by another's, in an attempt to determine if the loss is important or not.  There are many types of losses such as losing a job, losing a relationship, losing a pet, losing an important item, that can cause shifts in a person's belief system, faith, and perspective.  For me it was loss by the unexpected deaths of two of my loved ones, my brother-in-law who died almost 5 years ago and my beautiful nephew who died a year and a half ago, which caused the greatest shifting in my life.

I know I am not the only one who has ever lost a loved one through death, divorce or some other loss.  Of course not, we’ve all had losses of some kind at one time or another.  And I know that I am not alone in saying that the painful experience of grief from losing a loved one is intense, excruciating, almost unbearable, and seemingly never ending.  The realization that
 I could no longer reach out to my brother in law for advice or heart felt talks, or be able to reach out to my nephew and extend a hand in his times of need has impacted me in indescribable ways.  Losing both of them had left me, and my family, experiencing the pain of unfulfilled hopes, dreams and expectations.  It had left me with the pain of knowing I wouldn't be able to do things or be present differently, better or more for my brother-in-law or nephew.  Despite having been a nurse for thirty years, and having assisted individuals and families facing death, I was not prepared to assist myself or my remaining loved ones.  I wasn't prepared for how I would feel.

I had many “woulda, coulda, shouldas” as far as my relationships with my brother in law and my nephew were concerned.  I would have told them both, often, how much I loved them and valued them.  I could have been kinder.  I should have called them more often to talk to them and get to know whom they really were, to just listen to them.  Their deaths have forever changed the way I am with myself and with others.  Through the experience of losing my brother-in-law and nephew to death, I have experienced changes in my life  and how I live this experience called life.  I have learned many things and would like to share three of those things.

I’ve learned that the pain of grief is a normal response and it does not have to overtake and stop us from living.  I don't have to wait to begin to heal and recover from that pain.  I know the death of my loved ones is a reality I cannot change, but how I experience that reality is up to me.  If I take the proper steps to heal, I remove the weight created by self-imposed guilt that has no reason to be there.  I experience growth that comes from learning in this way, and through this lesson, I expand in spirit and soul. 

Secondly, I have learned that death and loss bring about a shift, and put us in transition for change that is inevitable because it is there, here.  And each loss we experience or have experienced is really an opportunity for us to grow and expand; become more of the person we are meant to be. Death is a teacher and we will learn much if we pay attention and listen. Death is expansive.  It causes us to grow up and grow out; it has caused me to grow up and grow out.  And that growth and deepening is a gift.  Out of this experience my faith in God who is ALL LOVE, ALL GOOD, ALL ABUNDANT has grown, my relationships with my loved ones have strengthened and my expression of my love for them has become bolder, more accepting, more forgiving, and my compassion for others has deepened and broadened. 

Lastly, I have learned to dream and allow myself to see the vision of my great purpose with clarity, to take action fearlessly, to help those in need and in emotional, spiritual and psychological pain.  To express love to all individuals in word and action, Now and consistently.  To promote emotional and spiritual healing by providing individuals a safe place where they can grieve without feeling judged, afraid of making others uncomfortable, and to teach the the skills which promote healing, recovery, and growth which provide the opportunity to living life fully and on purpose.

Life is a journey and every experience we have in this life whether positive or negative, grows us if we are open to learn the lesson of the moment.  Losing a loved one is painful, we can’t deny that, and we don’t have to stay in that pain and instead can grow from the pain.

I invite you to take a deep journey in releasing and letting go of the pain and to make peace.  I invite you to allow yourself the opportunity to find the gift that lies within your wound and experience the life this present has waiting for you now;  one of growth, expansiveness and redefined purpose.  I invite you to take that journey with me and know that I will guide you, support and encourage you through the process that has been triggered by this most important life event.  I will help you become inspired by this important life event to improve and empower yourself and discover or rediscover where your full potential lies.




 Jacqueline Bredehoft is a Board Certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner, licensed to diagnose and medically treat psychiatric disorders.  She is a Certified Grief Recovery Method Specialist and is available to assist you to take action within time to complete the pain of your loss.

You may contact her at 714-497-3307
jacqueline@lifeline2wellness.com
JacquelineBredehoft.com

The Consumer Deserves More and has Options!

I don’t know about you, but I get frustrated when I think about what our healthcare system has become. Or I should say, how some of our health care providers are behaving within a system they have chosen to stay in.

The overall experience of many individuals who choose to use their insurance to get health care is one of great dissatisfaction. Too often do consumers (clients, patients) complain they had to wait an hour to be seen for less than seven minutes. What’s that about? And they also complain about how the clinician they saw didn’t even look at them nor listen to them! How is that possible? And why does it seem to be occurring so often?

Unfortunately this complaint is most often heard from individuals who utilize their insurance for their doctor visits. But why is that? Most consumers I’ve spoken with, that use their insurance, believe most health care providers just care about making money. Are they correct? And is there anything wrong with making a living doing what you love? There certainly is if the recipient of your work does not feel valued.

It is my belief that how I treat my patient, customer, client, consumer, is a clear reflection of how much I love doing what I do and the reason why I do what I do. I’ve read and heard many commentaries about why patients complain, that make me shake my head in disbelief. One commentary I recently read, and I paraphrase, said complaints in health care occur so frequently now because people expect to have the same experience they would at a restaurant or any other retail establishment. That the standard patients have for their providers are the same that consumers for food or financial services have, and “it’s unfair for the doctor.”

Really? Unfair? What’s unfair? That the patient is also the consumer of healthcare? My client has the right to have high standards for what they receive and how they are treated. It’s a great reflection of their self-worth and how they feel about themselves. It’s spiritually healthy!!

As a health care provider, I apologize to anyone who has ever had a negative experience with a healthcare provider. Perhaps the reason why some people have had negative experiences is because the provider they have seen is unhappy with the system in which they choose to work in. Perhaps the provider, desiring to make a living doing what he loves has realized that “doing it” the way he loves is impossible if he is to make any type of living, and has succumbed to “doing it” the way the insurance mandates; see 4 patients an hour. 

Seeing four patients an hour is unacceptable and in my opinion potentially dangerous. Do the math, four patients an hour equals 15 minutes per patient, and that factors in the amount of time it takes the patient to enter the office and the amount of time the provider needs to chart. In actuality, an individual receives about 7-10 minutes of focused time.

In doing it the way insurance mandates, everyone pays yet doesn’t get what they need. The patient pays for it because he isn’t getting the care he deserves, and stays sick or gets sicker. The provider pays for it because he isn’t giving the care he desires and is himself becoming unhealthy with the stress of keeping the high volume pace expected in order to be financially successful.

Consumers have options. They can decide to not complain, but that won’t help anyone. Complaints are blessings. They give us an opportunity to change things and improve upon them. Consumers can decide to speak up directly to their provider and hope for a change. They can find another provider on their insurance panel or an out of network provider that bills insurance and pay a higher copay as well as having the high probability they will have the same negative experience. 

Or an individual can opt to see a provider that does not take insurance, but will provide them with personalized treatment, individualized care. A health care provider with the freedom to take the time to create with the patient a powerful partnership focused on the patient’s health and wellbeing.

Providers not bound to insurance madness/mandates do exist and offer an “old school medical practice” experience to the consumer.

It’s all about the choices we make!

Jacqueline Bredehoft is a Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner, located in Newport Beach, California, who is nationally board certified to care for the mental health and psychiatric needs of the family. She is also a life coach with an expertise in ADHD. 

Her private practice does not bill for insurance and she is therefore free to provide you with the exceptional care you deserve in the way you deserve.

Contact her for your initial consultation 

714-497-3307

jacqueline@lifeline2wellness.com

jacquelinebredehoft.com