…And so begins the change.
Loss of any kind is a game changer, changing outcome, expectation and results. Loss is an individual experience that cannot be measured by another's, in an attempt to determine if the loss is important or not. There are many types of losses such as losing a job, losing a relationship, losing a pet, losing an important item, that can cause shifts in a person's belief system, faith, and perspective. For me it was loss by the unexpected deaths of two of my loved ones, my brother-in-law who died almost 5 years ago and my beautiful nephew who died a year and a half ago, which caused the greatest shifting in my life.
I know I am not the only one who has ever lost a loved one through death, divorce or some other loss. Of course not, we’ve all had losses of some kind at one time or another. And I know that I am not alone in saying that the painful experience of grief from losing a loved one is intense, excruciating, almost unbearable, and seemingly never ending. The realization that
I could no longer reach out to my brother in law for advice or heart felt talks, or be able to reach out to my nephew and extend a hand in his times of need has impacted me in indescribable ways. Losing both of them had left me, and my family, experiencing the pain of unfulfilled hopes, dreams and expectations. It had left me with the pain of knowing I wouldn't be able to do things or be present differently, better or more for my brother-in-law or nephew. Despite having been a nurse for thirty years, and having assisted individuals and families facing death, I was not prepared to assist myself or my remaining loved ones. I wasn't prepared for how I would feel.
I had many “woulda, coulda, shouldas” as far as my relationships with my brother in law and my nephew were concerned. I would have told them both, often, how much I loved them and valued them. I could have been kinder. I should have called them more often to talk to them and get to know whom they really were, to just listen to them. Their deaths have forever changed the way I am with myself and with others. Through the experience of losing my brother-in-law and nephew to death, I have experienced changes in my life and how I live this experience called life. I have learned many things and would like to share three of those things.
I’ve learned that the pain of grief is a normal response and it does not have to overtake and stop us from living. I don't have to wait to begin to heal and recover from that pain. I know the death of my loved ones is a reality I cannot change, but how I experience that reality is up to me. If I take the proper steps to heal, I remove the weight created by self-imposed guilt that has no reason to be there. I experience growth that comes from learning in this way, and through this lesson, I expand in spirit and soul.
Secondly, I have learned that death and loss bring about a shift, and put us in transition for change that is inevitable because it is there, here. And each loss we experience or have experienced is really an opportunity for us to grow and expand; become more of the person we are meant to be. Death is a teacher and we will learn much if we pay attention and listen. Death is expansive. It causes us to grow up and grow out; it has caused me to grow up and grow out. And that growth and deepening is a gift. Out of this experience my faith in God who is ALL LOVE, ALL GOOD, ALL ABUNDANT has grown, my relationships with my loved ones have strengthened and my expression of my love for them has become bolder, more accepting, more forgiving, and my compassion for others has deepened and broadened.
Lastly, I have learned to dream and allow myself to see the vision of my great purpose with clarity, to take action fearlessly, to help those in need and in emotional, spiritual and psychological pain. To express love to all individuals in word and action, Now and consistently. To promote emotional and spiritual healing by providing individuals a safe place where they can grieve without feeling judged, afraid of making others uncomfortable, and to teach the the skills which promote healing, recovery, and growth which provide the opportunity to living life fully and on purpose.
Life is a journey and every experience we have in this life whether positive or negative, grows us if we are open to learn the lesson of the moment. Losing a loved one is painful, we can’t deny that, and we don’t have to stay in that pain and instead can grow from the pain.
I invite you to take a deep journey in releasing and letting go of the pain and to make peace. I invite you to allow yourself the opportunity to find the gift that lies within your wound and experience the life this present has waiting for you now; one of growth, expansiveness and redefined purpose. I invite you to take that journey with me and know that I will guide you, support and encourage you through the process that has been triggered by this most important life event. I will help you become inspired by this important life event to improve and empower yourself and discover or rediscover where your full potential lies.
Jacqueline Bredehoft is a Board Certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner, licensed to diagnose and medically treat psychiatric disorders. She is a Certified Grief Recovery Method Specialist and is available to assist you to take action within time to complete the pain of your loss.
You may contact her at 714-497-3307
jacqueline@lifeline2wellness.com
JacquelineBredehoft.com
Loss of any kind is a game changer, changing outcome, expectation and results. Loss is an individual experience that cannot be measured by another's, in an attempt to determine if the loss is important or not. There are many types of losses such as losing a job, losing a relationship, losing a pet, losing an important item, that can cause shifts in a person's belief system, faith, and perspective. For me it was loss by the unexpected deaths of two of my loved ones, my brother-in-law who died almost 5 years ago and my beautiful nephew who died a year and a half ago, which caused the greatest shifting in my life.
I know I am not the only one who has ever lost a loved one through death, divorce or some other loss. Of course not, we’ve all had losses of some kind at one time or another. And I know that I am not alone in saying that the painful experience of grief from losing a loved one is intense, excruciating, almost unbearable, and seemingly never ending. The realization that
I could no longer reach out to my brother in law for advice or heart felt talks, or be able to reach out to my nephew and extend a hand in his times of need has impacted me in indescribable ways. Losing both of them had left me, and my family, experiencing the pain of unfulfilled hopes, dreams and expectations. It had left me with the pain of knowing I wouldn't be able to do things or be present differently, better or more for my brother-in-law or nephew. Despite having been a nurse for thirty years, and having assisted individuals and families facing death, I was not prepared to assist myself or my remaining loved ones. I wasn't prepared for how I would feel.
I had many “woulda, coulda, shouldas” as far as my relationships with my brother in law and my nephew were concerned. I would have told them both, often, how much I loved them and valued them. I could have been kinder. I should have called them more often to talk to them and get to know whom they really were, to just listen to them. Their deaths have forever changed the way I am with myself and with others. Through the experience of losing my brother-in-law and nephew to death, I have experienced changes in my life and how I live this experience called life. I have learned many things and would like to share three of those things.
I’ve learned that the pain of grief is a normal response and it does not have to overtake and stop us from living. I don't have to wait to begin to heal and recover from that pain. I know the death of my loved ones is a reality I cannot change, but how I experience that reality is up to me. If I take the proper steps to heal, I remove the weight created by self-imposed guilt that has no reason to be there. I experience growth that comes from learning in this way, and through this lesson, I expand in spirit and soul.
Secondly, I have learned that death and loss bring about a shift, and put us in transition for change that is inevitable because it is there, here. And each loss we experience or have experienced is really an opportunity for us to grow and expand; become more of the person we are meant to be. Death is a teacher and we will learn much if we pay attention and listen. Death is expansive. It causes us to grow up and grow out; it has caused me to grow up and grow out. And that growth and deepening is a gift. Out of this experience my faith in God who is ALL LOVE, ALL GOOD, ALL ABUNDANT has grown, my relationships with my loved ones have strengthened and my expression of my love for them has become bolder, more accepting, more forgiving, and my compassion for others has deepened and broadened.
Lastly, I have learned to dream and allow myself to see the vision of my great purpose with clarity, to take action fearlessly, to help those in need and in emotional, spiritual and psychological pain. To express love to all individuals in word and action, Now and consistently. To promote emotional and spiritual healing by providing individuals a safe place where they can grieve without feeling judged, afraid of making others uncomfortable, and to teach the the skills which promote healing, recovery, and growth which provide the opportunity to living life fully and on purpose.
Life is a journey and every experience we have in this life whether positive or negative, grows us if we are open to learn the lesson of the moment. Losing a loved one is painful, we can’t deny that, and we don’t have to stay in that pain and instead can grow from the pain.
I invite you to take a deep journey in releasing and letting go of the pain and to make peace. I invite you to allow yourself the opportunity to find the gift that lies within your wound and experience the life this present has waiting for you now; one of growth, expansiveness and redefined purpose. I invite you to take that journey with me and know that I will guide you, support and encourage you through the process that has been triggered by this most important life event. I will help you become inspired by this important life event to improve and empower yourself and discover or rediscover where your full potential lies.
You may contact her at 714-497-3307
jacqueline@lifeline2wellness.com
JacquelineBredehoft.com
No comments:
Post a Comment